Andrew Wiggins’ rap skills are far, far inferior to his hoop skills

Video recently emerged of Andrew Wiggins rapping… Er… Trying to rap. Something like rapping, anyway. It’s really just a description of what he’s wearing, followed by a short story about parents and his girlfriend and a black car and crying (???). Here’s the full thing, which we have courtesy of an intrepid Reddit user. Take it away, Wiggy:

Let’s break it down, shall we?

“Uh. Check it, check it. I got the dress pants…”

Wiggins pressed pants


Wait, Andrew, no. That’s a horrible start.

Mom’s crying, family in all black.

Wiggins mom crying

Andrew, is this a rap about a funeral? If it is, you’re very under-dressed…

My girlfriend over there, crying, don’t know how to act.

Wiggins girlfriend over there

Right. So, now that we’ve established where everybody is standing, let’s get on with the narrative part of the little ditty you’re spitting…

They see me in a black truck… for no reason.

Wiggins black truck for no reason

And then the video ends.

A few questions:

  1. What was the rest of the rap about? Did everyone stop crying? Was anyone else standing around?
  2. Why is the video set in what appears to be an asbestos-ridden band storage room in a rural high school?
  3. What are the odds a heckler uses lines from this at Target Center this coming season?
  4. Despite the rough first mixtape, has Drew Wigg (working title) already surpassed Drake as Canada’s greatest rapper? You know, not that it’s a hard bar to clear, but still…
  5. Did you ever think Troy Hudson would be better at something than Andrew Wiggins?
  6. Are you ready for the season to begin, so we at A Wolf Among Wolves can actually start writing about actual basketball things that are happening? Yeah? Us, too. But in the meantime, bad rap will help pass the time.
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