Blog Archives

Shabazz Muhammad and the Rock that Keeps Away Tigers

In The Simpsons episode “Much Apu About Nothing” from the show’s seventh season, a docile bear wandering onto Evergreen Terrace causes an uproar that leads to the creation of a Bear Patrol. Homer (who led a mob to the mayor’s office chanting, “We’re here, we’re queer, we don’t want any more bears”) is satisfied with the […]

Shabazz Muhammad sent home from Rookie Transition Program for being a ladies man

Minnesota Timberwolves rookie Shabazz Muhammad has been sent home from the Rookie Transition Program for violating the policy of not bringing any women back to your room during the four-day program. The rookie program has been around since 1986, created by the NBA and NBPA to help incoming rookies learn about everything from character to […]

Grizzlies 92, Timberwolves 77: Hand dryers are the worst

I generally hate using hand dryers. Whenever you hit the button or you turn it on using some Jedi-type stuff, if you’re not seeing ripples in your skin then the blow dryer isn’t going to be good enough to dry your hands in a reasonable amount of time. A hand dryer like the one you […]

Timberwolves 111, Suns 107: Getting big

The makeup of what this team is good at and what they struggle to do still confounds me a bit. Going into this season, I don’t think there were many people who assumed the Wolves would struggle offensively (22nd) and be a defensive juggernaut of sorts (6th). A big part of the reason is the […]

Wolves tried to get downtown but missed their connection, and other public transit metaphors

The Wolves’ 3-point shooting last season was pretty atrocious. Despite being 23rd in the NBA in 3-point percentage, the Wolves just kept chucking up shots from long range. They finished sixth in the NBA in attempts from downtown, even when you adjust for pace. Perhaps one of the reasons the Wolves kept shooting them was […]

That time I went to Michael Beasley's house and bought a framed Yale poster

As some of you made have read on RandBall Monday, Michael Beasley had an estate sale. Instead of moving his stuff from Minneapolis to Phoenix, he decided to put that new $18 million contract to use and just buy new stuff for his new home. After moving just a couple of miles at the beginning […]

Wolves decline qualifiers to Beasley and Randolph

It appears that the decision on Anthony Ranolph and Michael Beasley has been made. From the Wolves: The Minnesota Timberwolves today announced the team will not extended qualifying offers to forwards Michael Beasley and Anthony Randolph. With Minnesota not extending qualifying offers to Beasley and Randolph by today’s deadline, both players will become unrestricted free […]

A roster of Wolves: Michael Beasley

Another year and another bundle of frustration for Michael Beasley and those that want him to be great good oh hell let’s just be adequately productive. Michael Beasley had the excuse last year of the ankle injury that seemed to crop up every time he hit the floor. This year, he had the excuse of […]

Crunching Roy numbers shines a little light, no?

Our friend Darren Wolfson at ESPN 1500 has reported that the Wolves are going to offer Brandon Roy a two-year contract and that the money is not known. I don’t even know if I’m ready to deal with the idea of Roy’s knees actually being healthy enough to be a serviceable player in the NBA. […]

Barea to everybody: please care

As I was, as you were, J.J. Barea was mightily displeased by his teammates’ second-half effort last night. Here is what he told reporters after the game (via Tom Powers at the Pioneer Press): We’ve got problems here. We just got a lot of guys that don’t care. When a basketball team got a bunch […]